Confession

I wanna try to be independent. I wanna go somewhere else where I can start a new life. But I dare not to do so because I know I am a person who have home-sick-disorder.

I'm like just so dependent on my family.

And I don't like it. I feel I might have die if I stay outside from home for days, my anxiety is getting worst. But I know I must take it and accept it as well for my own good.

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老娘想放弃

长大了很烦 长大了很多烦恼 长大了懂得要很多
人就必须向前走 向前跑
你有看过人家前后跑吗？一定跌倒我和你说.
长大了想找个明白你的很难 更何况说要找个男朋友 干 都单身多少年了 5年吧
但是我知道就算你怎么想以前 怎么怀恋以前 时间就是他妈的不让你回去
要你知道 时间多么的重要 你还在电脑面前挖鼻孔 我操
今天来都是说不重要的废话 但是人就是要偶尔享受这个生活
那 我没说我要过的简简单单白白痴痴傻傻乎乎的生活哦
说要过的那么白阿，你要吗？每天在家混，捺尼.
享受很微小的事情 我都可以很开心因为我要过得快快乐乐的
出去裸跑啊裸泳啊看看AV啊看看BL啊 这些我都超满足的 因为人生就是要享受 但是也懂得要去干活 不然哪来跑钱来
做人就是要懂得放手放面子，但是面子老娘就是放不下... 太糗了好不好
每次我啊都说想放弃 但是阿我等等就去睡觉明白我就忘记今天发生什么事情 这样算白痴吗 不是吧 wwwwww
五月真的不是个好月 但是我不相信我那么黑...
老娘不会输给你的 五月 我要活得好好
不过先把功课做完吧 ... TT TT

Ukulele session @ d'guitarre House of Guitar

Done all 4x classes of Ukulele session at d'guitarre House of Guitar at Setia Walk. 

Mr. Mok, my ukulele tutor, he is so nice and friendly. I enjoyed the 4 session however it's only 2 hours but I actually learn a lot from him. I learned the strumming pattern, but as its only 2 hours so I couldn't learn all the patterns but he taught me how to do the chucking strumming. 

The time I get to redeem my Groupon voucher and it only leave 2 patterns of ukulele to choose.. Hello Kitty and Tinkerbell.. I was like.. dafuq? no way!!!!! but yes it is and i chose hello kitty instead of Tinkerbell. 

So at the end of the class Mr. Mok said that if we wanna continue the class, we just have to pay rm100 per month. It's one class per week, 30 minutes. If we bring our friends along(only one), the time extends to 1 hour. Hoping my bro will join with me duh. :/

Problems

I am suffering from negative thinking at almost single hour, i think i have anxiety disorder.

I always scare of losing my family and I always check where are them until my heart said they're fine and safe.

I just get bitten by mosquitoes an hour ago, my history page is full of dengue cure, dengue symptoms, dengue cause death and dengue's cure time. 

I  have never get bitten by so many mosquitoes before.

At least 7 bites.

I'm scare. 

Less than 10 days to Semester 6. 

I'm allergic to paracetamol, when i consumer Panadol, my face went total swollen and double of the size and I can barely see. 

So if I really have dengue after 4 days from now, what can I consume instead of Panadol or other pain killers.

Anxiety disorder of mine happened more than a year.

I hate it but i seem to be no cure for it.

I'm not afraid to be alone or what, I just want my heart to feel good.

2014 is just not my year.

My toe nail is going to peel off.

I know it's cracked but I hope it's not.

I saw blood inside my nails, it must be cracked by that heavy thing.

I hope someone can understand my feeling.

I hope to see someone can help me.

I tried to be happy and smile.

2014

Happy New Year! 

___________________________

Chaoz